Part 1 of 2011

I thought I would catch you up on the pass few months of this year. I have been contimplating on if I wanted to share this on here but I figured it has been long enough that I can and that it isn't something I never want to talk about. Because, I know there are other women out there who have been through the same ordeal as me and maybe my experience may shed some light? I hope.
Back in October of 2010 we found out I was pregnant! So many thoughts went through my head, am I ready? Will I be a good mom? Do we make enough money? We've only been married 8 months! I then felt comfort and peace after kneeling down and praying to my Father in Heaven. I felt a calming and an excitment of joy after. I was going to be mom! December rolled around and my dad being a doctor I had him bring home a fetal doppler so I could hear the heart beat because I was counting down the days to hear it! I was more excited for that then Christmas! On Christmas Eve I got to hear the heart beat of our baby! It was so amazing! I had life inside me! I was able to make an appointment in January to go see the baby on an Ultra Sound. Russell and I were waiting in the waiting room January 7th and I remember I had a bad feeling. But, why? I just heard the heart beat not long ago! So I brushed it aside. We were called back and the tech told me to lay down on the bed. I was sweating, my heart was pounding! I'm finally going to see my baby! When she had put all the cold goo stuff and the whatcha-ma-call-it. (I forgot what it's called ) on my stomache right away I knew my baby was gone because there was absolutely no sound of a heart beat. I couldn't see the screen yet because she had moved it so I wouldn't see. But I knew. Russell sat across from me and I could see his face. Then, I knew for certain. I started to cry and the tech turned to me and said she will be right back. Man, the movies have it right down to a T! She came back in and told me she called my doctor and the radiologist. She said it looked like I was 13 weeeks along. But could not be certain because there was a ball looking thing half the size of the baby right next to it.
We went and talked to my doc and discussed the options. We decided it was best that I would have surgery to remove the baby. My doc reffered me to an OB to have the precedure done. Three days later I was in the hospital. After being at the hospital for 7 hours I was finally done. The surgery didn't take that long it was just all the blood taking, filling out papers, ultra sounds that took most of the time. The procedure was only a half hour! I was finally able to go home. They told me I was going to feel like crap because my hormones are going to change and my body will just feel off for awhile. A month later I didn't feel any different then the day I went into surgery! I thought, I must have AWESOME hormones and that I'm lucky...
Russell and I planned a trip to Hawaii a month after the surgery and got the OK from the Doc and so off we went to Kauai. The trip went fine until 2 days before we had to go home I didn't like what I saw in my swim suit and how much I saw of it either. When we got home I called the OB who did my surgery but no OBs were in because they were all at a conference. So The PA told me to come in right away to do an ultra sound. She said it looked like it was just that time of month and to keep coming back in for blood work because my HCG levels were still high, high as in 215. Normal is 5... So that following Friday were in SLC at a monster truck show thing at the Energy Solutions Center when I started feeling really bad.... So I went to the restroom and this time I panicked. I called my dad and said I'm losing alot of blood. He told us to meet him and my mom and MckayDee Hospital right away. So my sweet heroic hubby puts his foot on the gas pedal and we don't even make it to the interstate because we got pulled over. Of course.
And yes we got a ticket.
So we make it to the hospital and they get me in and hooked up to IVs and all that fun stuff.. and I get another ultra sound ( a more thorough one)and they take me back for surgery again! I almost had to have a blood transfusion during surgery because.. well I won't go into detail. There were just two blood veins that were just bleeding freely to put more clearly and less gruesome..
I woke up and I felt horrible.. I had to stay over night just in case. I looked over and there was my sweetheart asleep on the sofa in the hospital room. That night I didn't sleep a wink. Everytime I would close my eyes I would jolt back awake. Probably from the morphine? Well I was exhausted, my husband and parents. They took me home and I was finally able to sleep. I was finally able to move on. I'm so thankful I had a loving husband by my side and loving parents too. They all took such good care of me. I'm So thankful I was able to receive priesthood blessings and to heal. I learned so much from this trial and I know God has a plan for me and that I have been made stronger because of this.
I was so glad to be done with hospitals and thought our trials were over... so I thought.. stay tuned for my next blog. I have to go make dinner! :)